21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
"This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man."
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
A Hollywood actor who was famous for his romantic roles was once asked the question, "What makes a great lover?" I am sure that the listeners expected him to answer with a typical playboy-macho response. But he surprised almost everyone when he answered, "A great lover is a man who can satisfy one woman all of his life, and who can be satisfied by one woman all of his life. A great lover is not one who goes from woman to woman - any dog can do that."
However, many of our magazines, movies, and TV programs are proclaiming a very different message. They say that marriage is repressive and degrading for women & that we need alternatives that are in step with our modern age. Many people are doing finding alternatives to marriage- or experiment with them. There is the ill-fated open-marriage where one is married to one mate but can have several relationships outside of the marriage relationship and both married partners consent to this. Then there is the cohabitation relationship where couples live together as husband and wife but do not commit to the legal marriage contract- looking for more "outs" than "ins" in the relationship. Or there are the couples who are planning to get married but exploring their sexual and emotional compatibility first to see if it is going to work out. What they often find is because they have not established trust in the relationship before marriage, there is little trust in the relationship after marriage which is why the majority of couples who "live together" before marriage divorce within the first two to five years. Many are also exploring intimacy with same-sex relationships (that is the new politically correct term for homosexual marriage) because God's plan is not being followed. They fear intimacy with the opposite sex because they fear the emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges and demands of the opposite sex that they are unwilling to commit to them. I find it interesting that while many opposite sex couples are trying to find intimate alternatives outside of marriage, homosexual couples seek commitment and bond within marriage. Either way, man and woman seem so distraught and lonely, unsatisfied and discouraged because they won't accept God's plan for intimacy: "One man- one woman for life." Many couples wind up in my office hurt, confused, discouraged, and disillusioned about life and relationships because they have listened to the world instead of God who has a definite plan for intimacy, and when it is followed, it brings about a greater satisfaction and blessedness in the relationship. This is not to say married, opposite-sex, lifetime committed couples will not have problems. When one sinful nature joins with another there is bound to be friction and problems- especially selfishness. But when a relationship with God becomes the focal factor in that marriage- it has the potential to be everything not only God desires for that couple, but everything that couple is looking for.
I am exploring this thought in my devotions for the next several days. I hope you will trust me to be open minded as I examine what has been so overlooked and ignored for several decades: that God has a plan for intimacy in marriage. This is not just a throw back to an age of old-fashioned and irrelevant cultural mores, nor is it just one of many options out there that we may consider: it is not just the plan for intimacy God wants for us; it is truly the only plan that works.
Have a blessed day.
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